Awkward Firsts

So I kind of feel weird writing in this little box. I'm so used to drafting things before they are read, that I think this may not come so flowy at first. I hope I can edit this later because gramatical errors will kill me. I promised myself I would blog about a year back and am just getting to it. Overall, I feel it will better my writing skills and self expression, although, it's going to be terribly hard to start because of the great blogs I have read thus far. All so carefully planned out and organized, all told in such a great story format. Plus, throughout my creative writing class, I have learned and practiced that everything we write we can edit the crap out of before our audience reads it. Oh well, here goes nothing.... (or the start of a big something).....

Christmas is 35ish days away and has became extremely apparent since my last visit home because my mom and I got on topic and my mind hasn't wondered away since. It's stuck because of how much I've realized how important my family is within the past year and half of being at school.

(((See, now here is where adapting to blog format is going to become problematic. I now have three things I REALLY want to talk about and am about to have word vomit and get nothing accomplished. I am going to go off on tangents and that's not my goal... And you, as the reader, are probably already annoyed with me talking about blogging, more than actually blogging. But who is my audience anyways? Ok, back to the substance that you came for....)))

I think, for once, (shamefully admitted), that this Christmas is more about family than presents. I don't have the luxury of driving a short amount of time and seeing my beautiful new neice that was just born, or hanging out with my older brother and sister-in-law and her two kids. I don't have the luxury of walking down to my little brothers room and ranting about how silly mom and dad can be, and sharing new music with him and visa versa. I don't have the luxury of waiting for dad to get home so he can listen to me boast about how well school is going and rant about work (although my new job hasn't yet ceased to be anything less than amazing) and wait for him to tell me how proud he is. And most of all, i don't have the luxury of daily developing the newfound friendship I have with my mom. Don't get me wrong, we've never been on terminally bad terms, just growing up an moving out has enabled me to form this awesome friendship with her.

(((Now don't get mad, but this is another blogging peave. I feel like my description of my mom is cheap and 'hallmark' like. And that's not how I feel at all... I digress....)))

The warm fuzzyness of christmas can only be cheaply duplicated within my apartment here on campus. I mean, dont get me wrong, I love it here and my aprtment ya-dee-ya, but I can't replicate the feeling of christmas at home.

(((And again, this is where I really question my audience. Because I feel like I have to tiptoe around stuff, namely anything that would get me in trouble with campusy things, seeing as how I work and live on campus,... oh nevermind....(not eluding to me doing bad stuff, just being awkward still)....)))

So, Christmas is close and my boyfriend and I were able to share the Christmas shopping experience together this year. We compiled the money we were able to spend on presents together, and shopped thoroughly for our loved ones. He seemed as excited as I did, plus, he loves planning and organizing things, so we did real well distributing our money and spending it whole-heartidly. We are even so excited, that, thanks to the Dollar Tree being so close and containing everything we need to wrap/bag...ect., that we even wrapped the presents already and there's still 35 days left. But I guess it's kind of convenient because we can take most of the stuff home and decorated our big trees at home with the presents so the little aparment isn't cluttered.

(((So I guess as my brain gauge goes to zero I will end this as anti-climactic as it started. Sorry if as a reader, you feel robbed of a couple minutes reading this for it to just fizzle out.... Now I'm just hoping that this cleared my mind and I'm going to be able to start my six poems that are due Monday for Creative Writing.....

Blog ending comments... I look at the little scroll bar at the right and realize it was easier than I thought because the blue bar got tiny. And I wonder why there is this little section called labels at the bottom. And I hope that anyone who reads this doesn't feel left out, just remember there will be manymore to come... hopefully.... So, now to decide which button to push to finalize this...)))